SO i went back to the DFW area this weekend with the intent of making a 11:00 am appointment with UT Southwestern and training at Machado's and having a private lesson on Sunday.  But, it was raining hard when we left on fri at 4 am and rained almost the entire time there.  We stopped at Darci's house and i rested a bit before heading to Dallas from FW while it rained like no other. So i got to the presentation and while there, Ty went and had lunch with Trina. As I listened to the PA program director speek about their program, several toughts filled my head, some about how i would like to join, others about how it was going to be difficult to get in. 288 applicants last year, 36 admitted, only 4 were men. So i will still appy, but its going to be tough....I met up with Ty and Trina( who i had not seen in about 6 years, and hung out with here in even longer). We went to some resturant and passed a McDonalds whos tempurature sign read "-169 C", and laughed. I was still dressed nice from the presintation, looking good i might add, when we went to a comic book shop, and Trina pointed out which anime she did voice overs for.."That one, that one, that one.."I was in awe, and a bit jelouse of her awesome job. But that night, Trina asked us what we wanted to do, and having no idea, she made plans and one of the best nights of my life ensued. She bartends at night, so he has connections. So we start off at a place that had awesome sushi and sake, a bit light headed we left with one of her male freinds(dont remember his name, but he was nice). We ate and drank then she led us to the sky (ghost)bar, where we got in past a line of people and up the elevator before i realized what was going on. Drinks again. Beutiful wemon, great view. I spoted what i thought was the most gorgouse women in the club and after perswasion from Trina, i basically thought,"I'm not from here, might as well try." S i did, told her that me and my friends were about to bounce, but before i go i was wondering if i could buy her a drink. we hit it off and talked for about 10 min, then we wereoff, and  left for another bar, drank, danced, etc. 6 Bars total, And my first time to be drunk, she kept handing me water and saying,"Drink." she kept me hydrated and lead me by the hand when i was drunk.  By the end of the night, i was back to ok but fell straight asleep when we got to her house around 3 am sat morning, got up at 7, then went to do a hard 4 hour cardio work out at 10 am. and i felt fine. When i drove back to Amarillo, i was tired and got home and slept. I like DFW, its nice to get out of Amarillo once and a while. But it was awesome fun.

So im thinking now that i should just stay away from women for now. I've said it before, but am now actually putting it into practice. You wouldn't think finding a smart girl with a good heart would be hard to find, but...and i've also realized something. There is a difference between girls and women, women dont play games and know what they want and wont waste your time, Maturity is the difference. But im just going to stop caring about a relationship right now. After driving down to see Tauna, she totally forgot i was coming, so i told her i'd be in FW if she really wanted to see me, but since i drove 5 hours down there, the least she could do would be to drive an hour to Dallas. I stopped texting her. But i had fun in Dallas and i think i would like to move for school to FW. And it's nice to know ive got a place to stay at down there. Me and Ty will be heading down there on the 17th for training, and well, jus to gt out of town. I can still pull off a B in Calculus. It snowed so much the other day, fri the 27th it snowed all day long and i still had to go to work(9 am to 9 pm). i ended up staying over at Chri's and Sarah's that night cause i did not think i was giong to make it home safely. It was nice, wre played halo online with Shaun and Sarah made an awesome Brinner( pankackes, scrabled eggs, yurkey bacon, and hash browns) :) Yum! Really though i am lessed and lucky to be healthy and almost done with school for now...graduating in May! Ready to go to Europe. I do need to focus more though.  My jujitsu has improved. Laugh everyday and try, its all i need to do.

I feel very confident in my Advanced Phys test and the calculus test was ok, but i get the results back on Mon. I Saw and Talked to Lindsay today who said she was also thinking of doing PA school , but not in Midland, maybe Austin. Austin is a cool place. Giving much more thought to PA school. The concert was Awesome, it stared off with Safety Suit, which i am now a fan of on account of never hearing them previously. Then Hoobastank, who was ok. Seether was next, and they rocked hard, the bass from the speakers being felt in my bones. The final band was 3 Doors Down, who played like 12 songs, and prefomed very well. It was a great night, andi was able to get to know Chelsea a bit more, we may hang out some more soon...and this weekend will be interesting, but definetly fun. What kind of wine to get?

I get to see Seether and 3 Doors Down tonight....so excited. Hope i do good on the Advanced physilogy test though.

Texting....
Tauna: So something has been buging me since i've known you?
Me: What?
Tauna: Were you digging me more than just a friend or were we just friends? This is out of the blue i know.
Me: Alright, so back in the day, you told me how you felt, so i guess its only fair....
Me: yeah, i was digging you as more than just a friend.
Tauna: i told you my feelings?
Me: kinda, it was either just before or after you got back with your boyfriend.
Me: So...sorry if that weirded you out.
Tauna:  No not at all, its just i think i threw away a good thing.
Me:You haven't yet. just gimme a call tomorrow when you have time.
Tauna: Well i have decided a few things and boys isnt one of them, i need to get stuff done done with me before i date anyone else.
Me: A lot off things have been going well for me and i was gioing to see if you were giong to be part of that.
Tauna: Well first off all, im in tyler and i can tell you i dont think distance is the thing for me now.
Me. So why ask in the first place?
Me: well i dont play games so i tell you what.....
Me: i've got the weekend of the 7th and 8th off. i have a lace to stay in Dallas.I'm not mad or anything, just upfront like i said. Think about it.

Lest to say, im a bit confused.

Had class with Cristina today. I hug'd her and it was nice. Maybe i shouldn't try anything else with anyone else, maybe i just wait for her, months years, whatever....i need to talk to Lindsay.

It seems to becoming back to me. I'm not going to have as much free time as i thought, but its still good, long as i have time for friends.  So yesterday was the what i thought the first day of school, so i got up and ready and drove 30min to school..only to find a partially empty parking lot. Zombies? Na, just school didn't actually start till today, but i still got to work out. I feel so much better and have more energy now that im working out again. i was able to procure a internship at the Tech med school OBGYN clinic under a fertilization specialist and got introduced to the the Pharmacy staff and maybe a position in the future. I'm also giong to be an SI(supplimantal instructor) of a basic Bio class for Dr. Gouch. Christina is as well.  Maybe we will cross paths, but is seems the norm of the eb and flow of our astranged  relationship......connection.....freindship....Not sure what to call it, complicated is the least of it.  i gues i try to hard. Still care about her, but as for her......anyway,  I hope she got the packadge i sent her for Christmas. I saw Karah today and she was nice to me but didn't say anything about Sarah to me.  Good i guess. I did see Sarah puul into the parking lot yesterday as i was leaving, she turned to face me, but for some reason, eventhough i wantd to talk to her, i drove off as fast as i could.  I texted her today to see if she if she was ready to talk. No resopnse. Tauna has begun to talk to me and she said today that she missed me. I texted Lindsay today to find out her mothers name, Who i will visit next week to let her know what im planning on doing.  The plan is to send her flowers the day before Valentines with a note. She deserves so much better than she has been treated. She is such an awesome person. We both got screwed over in our last relationships, and both found out through text messaging.  She lives in Midland, about 4 hours away so i hope it to be a nice supirze the morning they arive.

Like water that washes away the dirt, a new year has come, and life begins once again. In the coming year, i look for more direction in my life.
I hope to stay in good shape, continue to help others, learn more, and be more happy. Maybe this year, i will have a relationship that last more than a month. i want to meet new people and do new things, travel to new places. Ive learned much from the previous year, and hopefully i can apply it this year.

I voted, got free Starbucks, and Obama won the election. It was an awesome day.
The change in the way our country thinks just within the past 10 years is amazing.
Not only for minorities, but for anyone it seems that in this country that if you want something bad enough, it can be attained.
The change will be slow, but this election has shown that the people of this country have spoken to the way things must change. This  concerns not only domestic, but global issues as well. I am so happy to see that the way a person is viewed but just the color of their skin means less and less. We still have some ways to go, but i think as new generations of americans grow in our country, we have changed from meer tolerance, to acceptance of others.  The next four years are not going to be easy, but i have much more faith our country now than a year ago. We must rebuild the bridges of cooperation between a devided country, we need to work together for the betterment of this great country. Reaching across to others who don't see things your way and finding a midground, being able to discuss things without shutting someone out one thier first sentence. Change is possible.

I voted, got free starbucks, and Obama won the election. It was an awesome day.
The change in the way our country thinks just within the past 10 years is amazing.
Not only for minorities, but for anyone it seems that in this country that if you want something bad enough, it can be attained.
The change will be slow, but this election has shown that the people of this country have spoken to the way things must change. This  concerns not only domestic, but global issues as well. I am so happy to see that the way a person is viewed but just the color of their skin means less and less. We still have some ways to go, but i think as new generations of Americans grow in our country, we have changed from mear tolerance, to acceptance of others.  The next four years are not going to be easy, but i have much more faith our country now than a year ago. We must rebuild the bridges of cooperation between a divided country, we need to work together for the betterment of this great country. Reaching across to others who don't see things your way and finding a midground, being able to discuss things without shutting someone out one thier first sentence. Change is possible.

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pic of me in living room. sleepy.
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"Kiss my Sass" by cobra starship is my new favorite song. Im trying to get ready for a tournament in dallas in the begining of december, i havent compeated in so long, im looking forward to it. I dressed up twice for halloween, once as a generic Slytherin student, and the next i just wore black scrubs and went as a doctor. Scrubs are cumffy. School is still kicking my ass, but at least i get to go to school and am healthy. Life is good, can't ask for much more.

Thank you for listening to me. You didn't have to, btu you did. We were able to discuss our thoughts about what had happened and about how i felt about you. You wouldn't think three simple words could be so complicated, but it was something i had been trying show  for so long without actually saying it, but here is no point in waiting. She was once one the best freinds i ever had, a person i was able to open up to even though i don't  with other people, i trusted her from the start. I still care very deeply about her, and want to re-establish the freindship we once had. Im not like other people in my area of the country, but neither is she. Thank you for leting me realize my potential, honeslty, if it wasn't for you, i wouldn't think i had a chance at Med school. Thank you fro being kind to others. Thank you for letting me tell you how i felt, and letting me speek my mind. Thank you for waking me up...

Thanks to all that have added me..Im glad to have joined this site, so here is some of my music, not a lot now, but wil be adding more later. Enjoy,a bit of everything.
Comidien Lewis Black, Audioslave, M.I.A., Atomic Kitten, Foo fighters, Coldplay, Rise Against, Yellowcard, etc.
http://www.mediafire.com/myaccount.php

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7636577.stm

This is a link to a BBC story about a couple of swedish women who run into traffic. They are nuts! May have had something to do with Visa or legal status, not sure.

So ive been somewhere between dreading and ready to do something ive waited more than a year to do. The basic idea is to ell someone who was once close to me how have felt, and currently still do feel. I have waited almost a year and a half, and figured that ther was no point in waiting any longer. When you hold feelings like this inside of you for that long, they tend to become a heavy burden even though its somewhat of a welcomed burden. I sent an email, though if she has yet to recive it im not sure, so i asked this morning, she said nothing yet.  Simple but direct. Every time i have tried to say it to her i get very nervous and become emotional, and the las time i was emotionl in front of her, things were bad. Also it's something ive wanted to say to her but in private, so when others are around, like at school), it becomes almost impossible. But anyway, i finally pressed the SEND button in my outbox, and by the look of it you would have though i was entering in a detination code for a nuclear missle. I dont konw how she will respond, but no matter what, i will appreciate her and try to improve on our freindship, because it means so much to me. Though work and school, and testing, and preparing for med school are all important, this is, and has been at the top of my list.

Villains was awesome! Nathan is a bit of a nutter, though the lad has been trough quite a bit. You have to hand it to him, he just wont die, with the help of others of course. Sylar has brothers, but more than fate tying them together, it seems a premiscous mother maybe...
And the lack of conscience on behalf of the villains makes for good hostage and conflict situations later on in the series. Sylar didn't kill clair even though he said he couldn't,  maybe because he is her uncle. Ha!

School started, so by my account and the fact that the temp around hear is a lot cooler, autum is cooler. People tend to be a lot more calm during this time, i guess heat makes people cranky. I do think it's more of a transition period, letting you have time to prepare for winter. Either way, all time should be enjoyed for its individual characteristics, the slowing down of the pace of the rat race....